3/27/09

Bloomberg's Alice Schroeder Sentences Bernie Madoff to Janitorial Work at Yeshiva University

Writing at Bloomberg, Alice Schroeder rips into Madoff with some actual calculations and detailed retributions, concluding,
For his remaining 4,635 allotted days, therefore, I sentence Bernard Madoff as follows:

He will work as a janitor at Yeshiva University and change bedpans at the North Shore-Long Island Jewish Health System hospitals. He will donate his bone marrow to the Gift of Life Foundation. He will swallow all the abuse his celebrity clients care to dish out, including slaps in the face from Zsa Zsa Gabor. He will work his little leg irons off doing whatever scut duties required of him. It’s the least he can do.

So far, Madoff doesn’t seem to share any of the sorrow, remorse and shame exhibited by his prey. Maybe a stint on a window-cleaning platform will wring a little guilt out of his cold, hard, sociopathic heart. About once a month, he will spend a few hours washing windows on the 17th floor of the Lipstick Building. There, he can look inside at his former office, where he spun the sugar that enticed his investors into the trap.

We should have no qualms about sending Bernard Madoff 17 stories up. Unlike his clients, it’s a safe bet he won’t jump.

(Alice Schroeder, author of “The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life” and a senior adviser to Morgan Stanley, is a Bloomberg News columnist. The opinions expressed are her own.)

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