The Onion on the Circumcision News

Monday, April 2, 2007

U.N. Urges Circumcision To Fight HIV

Citing studies that say that circumcision can cut the chances of contracting HIV by up to 60 percent, United Nations health agencies are urging heterosexual males to undergo the procedure. What do you think?

Raymond DeShaw,
Baggage Porter
"I don't like it. Governments should stick to telling women what to do with their bodies."

Lisa Ishikowa,
Systems Analyst
"Let's hope that Africans are more adept at outpatient surgery than they are at handling condoms."

Robert Galloway,
Loan Officer
"Unfortunately I have already been circumcised. Is there any benefit in cutting off even more of my penis?"