Transgender Kids, Covert Convert Bat Mitzvah and Vintage Necktie Aliyah Quandary - Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Your Jewish Standard Talmudic Advice for July 2017 (A classic oldie but goodie column!)

Dear Rabbi Zahavy Your Jewish Standard Talmudic Advice Column

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

I recently asked my friend how her young grade-school kids — a boy and girl — were doing. She replied that they are fine, and they have new names. The boy now has a girl’s name and the girl has a boy’s name. I asked why? She matter-of-factly replied that they both are transgender.

I was dumbfounded to hear this. I said nothing to her. Should I ask her more about this? Should I discuss this with a responsible authority?

Worried About Trans Kids

Dear Worried,

Yes, you have every right to ask the parent for more details, and to seek out, with sensitivity, more information on this topic from friends or experts or from your own counselors. The mother makes no secret of the facts. She is open and proud of her children and their gender identities.

Gender dysphoria is a seriously hot topic this year in social and political discussions, and in the media (2017). You will find many experts and pundits out there willing to share advice and counsel on the subject.

My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Column for October 2016: Binging at Weddings and Not Believing in Sin

My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Column for October 2016: 
Binging at Weddings and Not Believing in Sin

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

I went to a big Orthodox Jewish family wedding recently in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The music was so loud that some of my relatives, who had expected it, brought along earplugs. There was so much food at the smorgasbord and the main meal that the next day I weighed myself and saw I had gained more than three pounds in one night.

I’m tempted to turn down invitations to future frum family simchas just to keep my hearing intact and my waistline under control. Is that a reasonable course of action?

Binging in Bergenfield

Dear Binging,

Sure you can skip family weddings to preserve your health and well-being, and you should do that if you have no other solution. But some of your kin seem to have found modalities that allow them to participate and preserve their hearing. Surely ear plugs are an option for you too. Why not avail yourself of them?

And regarding the food, you know that you do not have to eat all of it! One possible alternative is to attend the smorg and the chuppah and gracefully decline the elaborate dinner that follows. Who needs to drive home at midnight from Brooklyn anyway? Of course, doing that you will miss the chance to bond and share at greater length with your family. But with such loud bands, how much schmoozing could you do with the relatives anyway?

Electricity on Shabbat? My Dear Rabbi Zahavy Jewish Standard Column for March 2020

Electricity on Shabbat? My Dear Rabbi Zahavy Jewish Standard Column for March 2020

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

Members of my community of Orthodox Jews who are shomer Shabbos refrain from turning on and off all electrical devices to observe their Shabbat rest. So, on Friday nights and Saturdays our practice is not to use, for instance, our phones or TVs or computers. And we don’t turn on or off lights or fans or heaters.

Lately, I’ve become lax in keeping these rules, especially regarding my use of my smart phone, my computer and my Alexa Amazon Echo devices. I feel that using these devices enhances my rest and my leisure. And I have found that avoiding them makes me uneasy, not relaxed or restful.

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I don’t publicly advertise my actions. But it’s increasingly evident to me that my family knows what I am doing and that they quietly disapprove.

I am worried and need your advice. Am I sinning by my behavior? I feel strongly that what I am doing is not a violation of any rules and likely will continue my uses. But what can I do regarding my actions if this all blows up and causes social friction in my family and community?

Electrified in Englewood

Dear Electrified,

Establishing sacred time is a powerful part of all religions. The notion that we Jews spend one day a week in a special world of restful restrictions starting on sundown on Friday is an amazing claim to make. And at the same time, it is hard for the community to enforce the Sabbath taboos.

My July Dear Rabbi Talmudic Advice Column: Raging over Rabbis in Randolph

Dear Rabbi Zahavy: Your Talmudic Advice Column (July 2014)

Dear Rabbi,

I read about rabbis in Israel who offer cures, amulets, talismans and the like to their followers. They attend family events of their followers and give advice to businessmen. The rabbis receive fees for these services, sometimes lavish donations. Some of these rabbis have become quite rich, even multi-millionaires. Forbes has published a list of the richest Israeli rabbis! I personally think these guys are despicable con men who use religion to prey on vulnerable people in need of help. Shouldn’t we do something to stop these people?

Raging over Rabbis in Randolph

Dear Raging,

Whoa! It is hard to ask a rabbi to condemn a rabbi. On the one hand, we rabbis need to stick together. If you attack one of our colleagues, common sense dictates that we ought to step up to defend him. However, on the other hand, you are right in your inquiry. If we find that a professional colleague is a fraud, it makes good sense for us to step up to discipline him, lest our whole profession be tarnished.

We rabbis derive our authority primarily from our study and special knowledge of rabbinic literature including Talmud, Codes, Responsa and yes, also from Kabbalah. Secondarily, many Jews believe that some or all rabbis have special charisma, which is power that derives from their closeness to the sacred and from their more direct link to God. This latter belief is more common in the Hasidic and Sephardic communities.

And you no doubt realize that, on the one hand, if you are affiliated with any form of organized religion, that you already are paying significant amounts to rabbis for their services. Nearly all rabbis serving in a professional capacity in America are paid – some quite handsomely. You may derive personal benefits from their services. Some provide solace and counseling in a professional manner based on academic training. I assume that you have no problem with that means of livelihood and you do not consider such practitioners to be con men.

But on the other hand, you may be rightfully indignant if a rabbi exploits his station to demand from his reverential flock exorbitant fees for whatever it is that he offers: presence at events, blessings, advice and the like.

In this case, since you don’t seem to know directly the rabbis that you question, you need to step back and ask if you are incensed specifically about these charismatic holy men making too much money. And you need to consider what provokes you to conclude that they are fakers and charlatans who exploit the weak and helpless. There are many testimonies from their followers praising and thanking these holy men. Celebrity charismatic rabbis, who earn the big bucks for providing the cures and remedies that you dislike, also can and do alleviate much suffering among their followers.

If a rabbi breaks the law by committing fraud or engages in an outright scam, you are justified to call him a con man. But if he engages in legal activities that are within the professional parameters of what rabbis do, you have little basis to label him a fake.

Nevertheless, you may choose to disapprove of extremes of rabbinical activity. For a religious believer, like yourself, if you believe a rabbi's activities are outrageous, you are entitled to your subjective opinion to declare a flashy healer a fake, while you continue to deem the other more modest counselors legitimate.

I do hope that you find helpful this brief Talmudic analysis and (rabbinic) advice for the day-to-day reality of our contradictory world, where one person's holy man may be another person's con man.

The Dear Rabbi column offers timely advice based on timeless Talmudic wisdom. It aspires to be equally respectful and meaningful to all varieties and denominations of Judaism. You can find it here on the first Friday of the month. Send your questions to DearRabbi@jewishmediagroup.com

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Pandemic Lamentations: My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Column for July 2020

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

These past few months in 2020 have been such a sad time of worldwide suffering, specifically due to the impact of the covid-19 virus. On the upcoming Tisha B’Av fast day (the ninth day of Av, which this year begins on the evening of July 29 and ends at sundown on July 30), would it be appropriate to make note of what is going on around us and perhaps to recite prayers to lament and to seek consolation for our present sufferings? How would that work for us?

Lamenting in Leonia

Dear Lamenting,

Yes, that surely is appropriate to do. Though our world of 2020 seems distant from the ancient times of Tisha B’Av, in 70 C. E., when Jerusalem and the Temple were destroyed, the underlying human conditions of life have not changed. Sadly, this year we have come to the point where right now we face extraordinary suffering, trauma, and destruction, on the personal, communal, and global level.

To make for yourself a meaningful Tisha B’Av 2020, you will need to creatively repurpose our old and established rituals, which were instituted after the destructions of 70 C.E. Under the circumstances, you should go for it, and create a new set of lamentations for yourself.

How to Deal With Facebook Stalkers, List Snubs and Technology Taboo Makers - My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Column for June 2020

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

I am on Facebook a lot and have many friends there. Recently, one of those people, whom I have known for many years, started replying negatively on every post that I made and on every comment that I put on Facebook. These were not just critical replies. They were snarky at first, and then became nasty and highly personal in nature.

I unfriended this person. But somehow, he still manages to find and comment on all my posts. What should I do to stop this?

Besieged in Bergenfield

Dear Besieged,

Facebook has mechanisms for actively blocking content from specific individuals. You can and should poke around the platform until you find them, and then invoke the harshest level of blocking against this offending person. Be persistent. Since Facebook thrives on content proliferation, your postings make money for them, and thus it deliberately makes the blocking process possible, but neither easy nor intuitive.

Dear Rabbi Zahavy - my Jewish Standard Talmudic Advice Column for April 2020 Your reactions to the pandemic and worries over shul closures

Dear Rabbi Zahavy - my Jewish Standard Talmudic Advice Column for April 2020
Your reactions to the pandemic and worries over shul closures

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

I find it hard to cope with all the bad news of the current pandemic. I feel it definitely has been impacting my mental stability and even affecting my physical health. What’s your advice?

Reacting in Ridgefield Park

Dear Reacting,

The talmudic rabbis recognized, way back in antiquity, that some people are more sensitive than others to external stimuli. Some rabbis, like the great sage Rabban Gamaliel, were given leeway in their religious practices because they were categorized as istinis — a term some believe is derived from the Greek meaning not strong: a-sthenos; for example, a person of pronounced sensitivity to ugly or troublesome environmental stimuli, death or sickness.

My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Column for February 2020 - Beginning Talmud Study and Playing Golf

My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Column for February 2020 - Beginning Talmud Study and Playing Golf

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

As I approach retirement and anticipate having more time on my hands, I have decided to take up two new pursuits: studying the Talmud and playing golf.

For Talmud study, I was thinking of learning at the rate of one page per day via the Daf Yomi program, as relatives as well as friends at my synagogue have advised. Perhaps you know of it?

As for golf, a couple of outings a week seems ideal, and again both friends and relatives insist that they will tolerate my incompetence and help.

But there seems to be so much involved in just getting started that part of me thinks both pursuits may be too elusive.

Am I taking on too much in my golden years?

Bewildered Beginner in Bergenfield

Dear Bewildered,

Not at all! I applaud with all my heart your ambition to expand your emotional, intellectual, and physical qualities at a time in life when many of us face the awful prospect of living out our later days in quiet desperation. I’m with best-selling author Daniel J. Levitin, who in his book, “Successful Aging,” enthusiastically commends those who set out to tackle bold new challenges in their mature years.

Go for it!

In fact, you already have started — by seeking assistance from relatives and friends. So, in offering my own advice, I’ll do likewise through the insights of two special advisers, my own sister, Dr. Miryam Wahrman of Teaneck, and my longtime golfing friend, the golf writer and editor Robin McMillan. Each has experienced what you are facing now. It is true that while Miryam is talmudically enlightened (or so she tells me), Robin still has trouble breaking 100 on the golf course, but both enjoy their avocations immensely. This, I think, is your true goal as you approach retirement.

My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy column for September 2019 - Your talmudic advice column - What should I do about our tribal rituals and knowledge

My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy column for September 2019
Your Talmudic advice column
What should I do about our tribal rituals and knowledge

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

I was shocked to read an op-ed in an Israeli newspaper by a writer who made radical assertions — seemingly without much evidence to support his assertions — that circumcision (bris milah) was not a central ritual of ancient Israel. The writer, moreover, proposed eliminating circumcision from Judaism, seemingly reflecting his blindness to his own Jewish culture and religion. Is eliminating circumcision now a trend among some secularist Jews? What can we do to stop this trend?

Bris Defender in Bergenfield

Dear Defender,

While many Jews assume that circumcision is a universal practice among their fellow Jews, that has not always been entirely true. In the early days of Reform Judaism in the 19th century, some classical Reform Jews openly opposed all rituals, including circumcision. And today, as you suspect, there are some young Jewish Israeli parents who refuse to circumcise their sons.

I have a devout Jewish friend who was terribly upset when her son in Israel did not circumcise her new grandson last year. I observe that it is trendy now in some progressive communities in Israel not to circumcise baby boys.

The article you cited provides some rationalizations for those people, but it is based on dubious historical claims.

My Jewish Standard - Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Talmudic Advice Column for July 2018 - Let's Fix The Ninth of Av

My Jewish Standard - Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Talmudic Advice Column for July 2018 - Let's Fix The Ninth of Av

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

Our U.S. government recognized Jerusalem as capital of Israel on May 14, 2018, and dedicated its embassy there, moving it from Tel Aviv. I don’t understand how we can continue to commemorate the 9th day of Av as a sad fast day that memorializes Jerusalem as a destroyed desolate city, when the facts of today totally contradict that. Doesn’t the reality of today’s circumstances make it time to abolish the fasting and mourning of that day?

Puzzled in Paramus

Dear Puzzled,

We need to ask in general — why should we cede to religion the ability to legislate our emotions? What is the benefit of making people sad and mournful through rituals? Religion can do this, to a degree. By requiring fasting, by forbidding weddings from taking place, banning music for three weeks, by prohibiting haircuts and shaving, religion can try to manipulate moods and motivations. But why?

Finding Your Existentialist Judaism - Your Jewish Standard Talmudic Advice Dear Rabbi Zahavy Column for July 2019

Your Jewish Standard Talmudic Advice Dear Rabbi Zahavy Column for July 2019

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

These days I am increasingly unsure of the nature of my Judaism — my religious identity. I know for sure that I am a Jew. Both my parents were Jewish. And I do observe the Jewish festivals and Sabbaths, but now not so rigorously or in accord with any single denomination. I find it more and more difficult to define my affiliation with any specific organized Jewish group. Some of my friends politely tell me that I need to decide where I stand and conform to the beliefs and standards of one of the forms of Judaism. I just don’t know that I can do that anymore. I do want to explore Judaism philosophically, but I don’t know where to start. What is your advice?

Drifting in Demarest

Dear Drifting,

Most folks cannot tolerate too much ambiguity. They look for certainty. It sounds like you are living with uncertainty in your identification with Judaism. And while in our society it is rare for people to overtly butt into other people’s lives and life choices, some of your friends must sense your unease. That’s why they are chiming in that you need to decide.

It is reasonable for people to want to know where their friends and relatives stand regarding Judaism. And they want a label to name your choice and to make the identification clear: Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, chasidic, Lubavitch; and in Israel there are category labels like dati, chiloni, Dati Leumi, charedi.

My Existentialist Zionism Answer in my Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Jewish Standard Talmudic Advice Column for May 31, 2019

Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Jewish Standard Talmudic Advice Column for May 31, 2019

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

I visited Israel recently, and from what I saw I admired the continued growth of the country. But at the same time, I felt a deep apprehension about the manifold internal and external dangers that it faces. I am worried that Israel has lost its way and is no longer serving to fulfill its Zionist missions. How can I regain my confidence in the present vitality and the future prospects of the State of Israel?

Fearful in Fair Lawn

Dear Fearful,

I too have spent a lot of time in Israel of late and I do share your concerns. It’s a complex country of more than nine million inhabitants. It faces many internal conflicting points of view and differing aspirations. And yes, it is beset by the external challenges of hostile foes who seek to damage or even destroy the state.

But my take on the situations it faces is positive and confident, and not simply by virtue of any of the classical definitions of Zionism. I have a personal and original take on the matter.

Let me explain first a bit about the historical context of past Zionist visions and then tell you how I now formulate my own conception of Zionism for the modern State of Israel.

The great historians of Zionism tell us about its major forms: political Zionism, socialist Zionism, cultural Zionism, and religious Zionism. I respect and venerate all the past great Zionist thinkers and activists. To some degree the modern state is the successful expression of the four classical forms of Zionism. And to some extent it represents a failed or incomplete implementation of each of them.

Can we take Tainted Charity? Who wrote the Haggadah? My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Your Talmudic Advice Column for April 2019

Can we take Tainted Charity? 

Who wrote the Haggadah? 

My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Your Talmudic Advice Column for April 2019

Dear Rabbi,

I am the head administrator at a major Jewish nonprofit in New Jersey. One of our biggest donors has been charged with a crime. We want to remove his name from our building now. Do we need to wait and see if he is convicted or exonerated? It could be years and we do not want to suffer embarrassment in the interim.

Disheartened in New Jersey

Dear Disheartened,

You do not need to wait. But you may not need to disown your disgraced donor, even when he (or she) is convicted and sent to prison. Check with your New Jersey colleagues in the nonprofit sector about the local customs in this muddy swamp. It seems obvious that where big money is involved, creative solutions abound.

For instance, I can recall several years back, when a big-named donor of a New Jersey Jewish school was sent to prison. It was true that as a result, his name was removed from the school. But resourcefully, the school put up his mother’s name as the replacement. And the family continued supporting its cause.

Arguing about Orthodox Women Rabbis and Finding your Past Lives - My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Your Talmudic Advice Column - March 2019

Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Your Talmudic Advice Column March 2019
Arguing about Orthodox Women Rabbis and Finding your Past Lives

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

I have been bothered deeply to read and hear about a conflict among Teaneck Orthodox rabbis over the hiring of a woman in a rabbinical capacity at a local synagogue.

I think our rabbis ought to set better examples in their behavior and be more progressive in their views about women.

Tired of tiffs in Teaneck

Dear Tired,

I’m sure you realize, first of all, that contention over female clergy is an issue only in the Orthodox world. The Conservative movement has counted women in the minyan for decades and ordained women starting in 1985. Reform Judaism also takes an egalitarian approach to the role of women in their communities. Its first woman rabbi was ordained in 1972.

Sorry, I fear there is not much I can suggest to you to do to help resolve this Orthodox rift. And I say this not based on an assessment of the contemporary persons and institutions involved in the current spat.

When will the world end? - My Jewish Standard - Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Talmudic Advice Column for February 2019

When will the world end? - My Jewish Standard - Dear Rabbi Zahavy - Talmudic Advice Column for February 2019

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

When will the world come to an end?

Counting Down in Cresskill

Dear Counting,

At first glance, that’s a good question. As you may know, that question is a popular meme in imaginative literature, drama and films, and a prominent theme in religious teachings. It’s not automatically an outlandish question. But it raises my concerns that you ask it.

My first trepidation is that you ask this question because you are in a depressed or agitated disposition and looking for an escape. Take a look in the mirror. Introspect about your own state of mind. Ask people close to you if they have any concerns about your mood.

Are you unhappy at work or at home? Are you facing medical challenges and seek escape from them? Are you looking for some sort of ultimate external resolutions to your problems? If you detect any of these circumstances in your life, it would be good for you to see a therapist, and not seek to calculate the number of hours left in the existence of the universe.

Now it may be that you are sound in your mood levels, but perhaps you are looking around at the world and see things that genuinely trouble you, and that you feel you are powerless to control.

I remember from when I was quite young that my grandmother told me one day in a calm and reassuring voice that she was sure the moshiach — the redeemer messiah that we Jews have been awaiting for millennia — soon will come to redeem us.

What made her sure were the signs of the times that she detected all around us — particularly what she judged was the precipitous decline of morality among young people in our culture.

End-of-days narratives come in many forms. Often, they seek to be reassuring, in a strange, unsettling way. In the genre called apocalyptic (meaning: revealing the end), the story told often relates to us that upheavals or cataclysms soon will be upon us, followed by a change in the way the world is run. After that, we powerless people, who face suffering now, soon will be in power.

What is the Meaning of Life? - Dear Rabbi Zahavy - My Jewish Standard Talmudic Advice Column for January 2019

Dear Rabbi Zahavy
Your Talmudic Advice Column
January 2019

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

What is the meaning of life?

Wondering in Weehawken

Dear Wondering,

Sure, at this time of the new year it makes sense for a person to wax philosophical and to ask such a big question.

However, let me consider that perhaps you were not really serious in sending in this question to begin with.

In that case, I will answer by quoting to you from the epilogue, the last scene of the 1983 Monty Python comedy film “The Meaning of Life.” There the host opens an envelope containing, well yes, the meaning of life. She reads it out loud and here is her profound advice: “Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”

While that may not be the momentous meaning of life, that is not bad advice.

Now, let me consider the alternative, and take your question as a serious inquiry and try to reply in kind.

#MeToo and Jewish Sex Laws: My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Talmudic Advice Column for November 2018

#MeToo and Jewish Sex Laws

My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Talmudic Advice Column for November 2018

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

I just read an opinion by an outspoken Orthodox rabbi that made sense to me. He said that many centuries ago Orthodox Judaism resolved the terrible problem of the harassment of women by instituting many practices and customs to govern relations between men and women. Isn’t he right? Shouldn’t we men speak up now about this, and let the world know how to resolve the #MeToo crisis by promoting and enforcing our Jewish rules?

Protector of Women in Paramus

Dear Protector,

I believe you refer to the recent article by an Orthodox rabbi, “A safer space for women in Orthodox Judaism’s rules for sex.” He calls the traditional regulations in this arena “realistic and wise.”

And do you know what? After the intense struggles of the past year over #MeToo, which brought down more than 200 powerful men who were accused of harassment (according to the New York Times), it’s really tempting to pause, consider the alternatives, and declare to the rabbis’ team a “touchdown” — to admit we need “rules for sex” and consider seriously advocating for the rabbinic system.

But allow me to develop a sports analogy. Sure, we “referees” can look at the hard-fought struggle on the field, and the struggle in our society, and then declare that tradition has the “touchdown” solution to the problems.

Who am I? My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Talmudic Advice Column for October 2018

Jewish Standard 

Dear Rabbi Zahavy 

Talmudic Advice Column

October 2018

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

I read a report in the news that psychologists have identified four major human personality types. Do you advise that I try to find out what is my type? What would the benefits be?

Typified in Tenafly

Dear Typified,

Indeed, this is a timely hot question for many reasons. In the September 10, 2018 issue of the New Yorker there’s an article, “What Personality Tests Really Deliver: They’re a two-billion-dollar industry. But are assessments like the Myers-Briggs more self-help than science?”

Its author, Louis Menand, discusses the famous and popular Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which helps people identify which of 16 personality types they are. The MBTI, it turns out, is controversial in terms of reliability and validity, but it is immensely popular in business settings and in personal growth efforts.

The newer study that you refer to was published recently and shows statistical evidence for the existence of four high-level personality types that the researchers call average, reserved, self-centered, and role model. These groupings depend on how much people display of five traits, specifically neuroticism, extroversion, openness, agreeableness, and conscientiousness.

I have reservations about getting all gung-ho about this study, even though it is based on a lot of real data, namely 1.5 million responses to four different personality surveys from respondents of all ages worldwide, analyzed by algorithms to sort the data into distinct clusters.

My hesitation is that the types in this study seem too general and almost common-sensical. That makes me wonder what the value of these distinctions may be. I have similar reservations about the MBTI and other instruments for personality identification and classification.

But on the other hand, sure, for many reasons we all could benefit from knowing more about ourselves. And if type-studies do assist us, then let’s embrace them for what they are — helpful augmentations to our intuitive insights into personalities.

Overall, I can think of several main reasons for seeking more clarity about human personality types, and identifying your own, to see where you fit in.

First, and what I believe is your motive for asking, knowing what is your type can increase your own self-awareness. The more you understand about yourself, the more mature you can be in approaching your life-decisions, such as what career to choose, what kinds of friends or spouse to seek, and many other basic issues that we all confront. That is a practical application that can be beneficial to you as an individual.

Typology-making also can be helpful in performing broader cultural analysis. The influential psychologist Carl Jung advanced the notion of personality archetypes in his 20th century writings. His followers, including Myers and Briggs, sought to apply his ideas to various aspects of cultures and societies, some more serious and scholarly, and others more popular.

A wonderful memorable illustration of the latter is the book “Goddesses in Every Woman: Powerful Archetypes in Women’s Lives” by Jean Bolen. Though her work refers to classical mythical goddesses, her purpose was to help people attain a secular understanding of their own personality types and those of others they may know.

For Bolen, a woman may be able to see herself through the prism of the goddesses of the Greek pantheon and thereby more clearly find her inner personality archetypes.

Typology-making also has been used to do constructive religious theology, the goal of which is not necessarily to gain personal insights, but rather to explain and promote the advantages and explicate the meanings of a particular religious system.

I was exposed to a topological brand of theology through the teachings of my rebbe, Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, who wrote about a type that he invented and called “Halakhic Man” in a famous long essay with the same title.

In that exercise, Soloveitchik constructed an ideal religious Jew (“Halakhic Man”) and contrasted that with two other human types that he called Cognitive Man and Religious Man. Cognitive Man, he says, represents an abstraction of a scientist, like a theoretical physicist or mathematician, who comes to know the world by constructing intellectual models and analyzing the actual world in systemic ways.

Religious Man, as Soloveitchik sees it, seeks to master the capacity for spiritual experience, to transcend physical reality and experience God’s immanent presence in the world.

Soloveitchik surprisingly relates the Halakhic Man type to Cognitive Man. Both approach the world with their respective intellectual models. Halachic Man comes to the world armed with the two Torahs, written and oral, revealed by God at Mount Sinai. Cognitive Man may use a model based on his received mathematical or scientific criteria, and Halachic Man understands his world via classical Jewish legal categories.

I’ve done my own theological application of typologies, in a book that I published in 2011 called “God’s Favorite Prayers.” I displayed there my analysis of the classic Jewish prayers through the prism of six personality types of Jews at prayer that I developed.

I devised types that I labelled the scribe, the priest, the performer, the meditator, the mystic, and the celebrity monotheist, to help me characterize the contents of the individual prayers that make up the composite prayer book that Jews compiled over the centuries.

My thesis in my book in brief is that the Shema prayer represents the values and traits of a scribe. The Amidah embodies the values of a priest. The grace after meals is an expression of a meditator. The Kaddish is a supplication of a mystic. And the Alenu prayer is a declaration of a celebrity monotheist, a triumphalist.

While my goal was to explain and bring focus on the substance and character of each prayer, I do expect that by delineating individual character types, I help people gain insights into their own religious personalities as well. Still, I haven’t yet devised a questionnaire to determine which archetype of prayer a person most closely matches. Perhaps I should put that on my creative agenda.

To get back to your question, clearly you may want to know your type to obtain a deeper personal self-understanding, or you may seek a better sense of broader social and cultural insights. Keep in mind that others around you will want to know your personality type for decidedly practical, and perhaps for pecuniary purposes.

Officers in the armed forces will want to precisely as possible identify the personality of its recruits to put them in the best possible tactical roles. So too will business managers want to know a personality type to place an employee in the best suited position. The Myers-Briggs inventory is used widely in business contexts.

Dating services will want to clearly know the traits of its clients to perform the best possible matching with potential mates. And of course, a marketing entity will want to know as much as possible about its potential clienteles, to target its efforts and to maximize its sales. Personality typing can be a shortcut to that goal.

Personality information is valuable in many respects. Current reports in the news tell us of a café near Brown University that will serve its clients coffee for payments not in money, but in the credits of the personal data that they provide.

My answer to your inquiry is, then, yes. You will want at some point for your own benefit and perhaps to serve the purposes of others, to ascertain details of your own personality type. But there is no hurry to do this. This area of psychological and social analysis is changing rapidly. Artificial intelligence algorithms and machine learning models are being refined, developed, and introduced as we speak, and used in the areas of these inquiries.

I can foresee in the near future the emergence of advanced and more granular typologies that identify not four or 16 but hundreds or thousands of personality types by applying models and algorithms to massive amounts of data.

And yet even given the state of the field, I could point out to you that there are plenty of naysayers who question the validity of these kinds of studies, and others who oppose its invasiveness on ethical grounds. Humorously, I could say to you that there are two basic types of people in the world, those who believe that personality type studies are immensely useful, and those who do not like them at all. I am closer to the former type.

The recent study we alluded to has limitations, as does any similar past attempts at typology. Deciding on the boundaries of types is often arbitrary. And though major personality traits are fixed in an individual, age does play a factor, and people can change. Young people, for instance, tend to be self-centered. Older people often seek to be role models. And yes, people who self-report on tests or inventories may deliberately or inadvertently misrepresent their own traits and preferences.

And again, all those test outcome observations seem close to the common-sense insights that a sage cultural critic could advance without resorting to any sophisticated questionnaire or data mining.

In any case, the longer you wait to explore this area of research, the more sophisticated the results and insights will be. Do follow up if you are so inclined, but keep in mind all of the above caveats and limitations, and don’t be in any rush to become typified.

Tzvee Zahavy of Teaneck has been a professor of Talmud, Jewish law codes, Jewish liturgy, Jewish history, Near Eastern and Jewish studies, and religious studies at major U.S. research universities and seminaries. His book “God’s Favorite Prayers” is available on Amazon in paperback or Kindle format. He received his Ph.D. from Brown University and his rabbinic ordination from Yeshiva University. Go to www.tzvee.com for details.

My Dear Rabbi Zahavy Talmudic Advice Column for the Jewish Standard September 2018: How to Have Happy Ho Hum Holidays and Who Pays When My Car Gores Your Car

Dear Rabbi Zahavy
Your talmudic advice column
September 2018
How to Have Happy Ho Hum Holidays and Who Pays When My Car Gores Your Car

Dear Rabbi Zahavy,

Despite what the rabbis say about the importance of the days, I’m not looking forward to the High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur this year. In fact, I am at best indifferent to them. And specifically, thinking about all the hours I will have to sit in the synagogue makes me nervous. My synagogue’s seats are crammed together. I see many people there whom I do not know or like. I can hardly see the chazan and sometimes it’s hard to hear him. Also, I find the prayers confusing and hard to understand. Most of all I find my mind wandering away from the services, and I hardly pay attention at all, except to be sure to stand and sit at the right times. To tell you the truth I’m considering skipping the synagogue services altogether this year. Given all my issues with the praying, what do you suggest that I do?

No Patience for Prayer in Passaic

Dear No Patience,

It sounds clear to me that you are harboring a great deal of frustration with your holiday devotions. And it seems like you might be on the verge of needing to take a break from your synagogue, perhaps seeking out a new place of worship, or taking a vacation from some of the services.

My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Talmudic Advice Column for August 2018 - Should I Lie or Tell the Truth?

My Jewish Standard Dear Rabbi Zahavy Talmudic Advice Column for August 2018
Should I Lie or Tell the Truth?

Dear Rabbi Zahavy

I thoughtlessly violated a petty and unfair town ordinance. Now I am being fined for it. I’m thinking that I could just pay the fine, or I could go to the town and explain what happened and ask for a reduction in the fine. But nowadays it seems that our highest government officials have no hesitation making things up. Perhaps I can concoct a story to avoid the blame for my actions and avoid the fines. Would that be justified?

Conflicted in Cresskill

Dear Conflicted,

It should be easy for me to say that lying is not the preferred way to go. I’m obliged as a rabbi to represent ethical and moral standards. I should say without hesitation — tell the truth in good faith and ask your town to understand the situation.

But if we look around at all the obvious lying going on in our politics, in our world, it makes you stop and think. Maybe lying is a viable option. Maybe you will be better off if you lie.

And honestly, if you look closely at our Jewish traditions you see dramatic examples of lying recounted proudly in our Bible stories, without qualms. Why then should you opt for the truth?

Let’s critically probe three obvious instances of deceit by our esteemed and venerated patriarchs and ancestors as described in the first book of the Torah and see what we can learn from them.