JStandard.com: My Talmudic Advice Column for March: Mortified by Miserable Manners and Creepy Kids' Coach

Dear Rabbi: Your Talmudic Advice Column
Published in The Jewish Standard

Dear Rabbi,

My husband and I were thrilled to be invited for Shabbos dinner at the home of a lovely, warm couple. This couple, always gracious hosts, had also invited four other couples. As we gathered around the table, the host, a gentleman who learns daily asked the men if anyone wanted to make kiddush. All agreed that they would be “yotze” the mitzvah with the host’s kiddush and not recite their own. Wine was poured, and all stood waiting for the host to begin. Just a few words into the bracha, a man at the table interrupted the host, correcting his pronunciation. Graciously, the host accepted the correction and finished the blessing.

The person who made the correction is known around town to be very learned. He wears a black hat, which he keeps on until after motzi. But I was really mortified to be sitting at the table where a host, or anyone, is embarrassed publicly. I said nothing at the table, but I do wonder if I should have said something and if it is halachically correct to correct/embarrass someone, even if it means a well-meaning bracha might be said with an incorrect pronunciation.

How far should we go, or should we go at all, to embarrass or correct someone, even if we see it as upholding Torah? This disregard for a person’s feelings under the guise of Torah values really disturbed me.

Troubled
Teaneck

Is Idina Menzel Jewish? Is Adele Dazeem Jewish?

Yes, Idina Menzel is a Jew. Yes, Adele Dazeem would be a Jew if she existed. That is the mangled name given to Idina Menzel by John Travolta at the Academy Awards in 2014. No, John Travolta is not a Jew.

To get a mangled Travoltafied version of your name, go to this website. Mine came out "Theo Zamirez". I kinda like that name.

Wikipedia reports on the early life of the actual Idina Menzel:

Menzel was born in Queens, New York. Her mother, Helene, is a therapist, and her father, Stuart Mentzel, worked as a pajama salesman. She has a younger sister, Cara. Her family is Jewish; her grandparents emigrated from Russia and elsewhere in Eastern Europe. Her family lived in New Jersey (East Brunswick, Somerset and Marlboro) from when she was in kindergarten to third grade, but she considers herself raised in Syosset, New York.

When Menzel was 15 years old, her parents divorced and she began working as a wedding and bar mitzvah singer, a job which she continued throughout her time at New York University's Tisch School of the Arts. Menzel herself, however didn't have a Bat Mitzvah after she quit Hebrew school as a girl. She earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Drama at New York University prior to being cast in Jonathan Larson's rock musical Rent. She changed the spelling of her surname to Menzel to better reflect the pronunciation the Mentzel family had adopted in America. She was friends with actor Adam Pascal before they worked together in Rent.

Hat tip to our musical good friend who says all of this is amazingly hilarious :-)

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Rav Soloveitchik, Rav Lichtenstein, Prof. Weidhorn, Prof. Flatto, Prof. Levy: My Five Greatest Teachers at Yeshiva University

I have realized over the years since 1970 when I graduated from Yeshiva College that so many of my teachers there imprinted upon me indelible lessons for life and learning. I have chosen here to recall five special teachers. I apologize to the many other wonderful teachers that I have omitted. I especially beg the forgiveness of those that I have chosen to so briefly and inadequately remember. Nothing that I say can do them justice.
[Annual re-post -- to celebrate these great teachers.]

This BBC post about anger and heart attacks may save your life

I cannot properly evaluate the science behind this. All I can say is that this rings true to me.

Serious anger in the range of rage changes your body in bad ways. The BBC article says, keep your stress low and try yoga. All good advice and try to follow it. It may save your life.

Angry people 'risking heart attacks'
By Michelle Roberts
Health editor, BBC News online

Having a hot temper may increase your risk of having a heart attack or stroke, according to researchers.

Rage often precedes an attack and may be the trigger, say the US researchers who trawled medical literature.

They identified a dangerous period of about two hours following an outburst when people were at heightened risk.

But they say more work is needed to understand the link and find out if stress-busting strategies could avoid such complications.

People who have existing risk factors, such as a history of heart disease, are particularly susceptible, they told the European Heart Journal.

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What is Halakhah?

Commonly Halakhah refers now to the entirety of Jewish law.

I did some research a while ago into the use of the term in early rabbinic literature. I found that the term halakhah is not used in the Mishnah, Tosefta, or the Tannaitic Midrashim as a primary theological category or as a main descriptor of an entire realm of content.

The word halakhah or its plural form ;&,-% appears 31 times in Mishnah, 105 times in Tosefta and in 59 instances in the early midrashic compilations: Sifra (20), Sifre Numbers (6), Sifre Deuteronomy (18), Mekhilta (10) and Mekhilta of R. Simeon Bar Yohai (5). There is one usage in the Dead Sea Scrolls. I based this on the concordance of the Academy for the Hebrew Language, microfilm version, searches conducted in 1995. Other search methods may provide different results.

By my reckoning there are at least 17 usages of the rabbinic term and concept halakhah in the early literature.  Categories V, IX and XII suggest that the rabbis referred to a body of knowledge called halakhah. The other categories of usage do not support that idea.

Briefly the categories of usage of the term are as follows.

I: A “halakhah of Moses” is a tradition handed down from Sinai. This is a statement of the authority and antiquity of a practice.

II: “The halakhah agrees with, accords with, follows, laid down by, stated by” a given source or master is a decision of law or practice in accord with a specified text or authority.

III: “X is a halakhah or the halakhah is X” denotes a statement of a law as it was decided or should be practiced.

IV: “A ruined, defective, wrong halakhah” refers to an improper decision of law or practice.

V: “...in the halakhah” refers to a matter that is part of the body of halakhah.

VI: “A word of halakhah; a matter of halakhah” denotes an identifiable mode of speech, rhetoric, or expression.

VII: “...through the halakhah” associates the term with a process of reasoning, law, or culture.

VIII: “The four cubits of halakhah” suggests that there is a realm of halakhah with its own ontological essence.

IX: “Study halakhah, elucidate halakhah, repeat halakhah” means that one may partake of the corpus, or from the culture or domain of halakhah.

X: “The halakhah follows the majority or group vs. the individual” is a statement of a more specified principle of decisions of law or practice.

XI: “To fix the halakhah (for the future)” suggests another way to express a statement of the law or practice.

XII: “The absolute halakhah, no discussion about its correctness (e.g., b. Ber. 31a)” shows that a legal rule about which there is no dispute is also referred to as halakhah.

XIII: “Knowledge of halakhah (anthropomorphized)” again makes reference to part of the body of halakhah as a realm with its own ontological essence.

XIV: “The halakhah in actual practice (e.g., b. Shab. 54a)” implies the term refers to an ethic or ritual practiced in a social context.

XV: “The halakhah decided by reference to practice” is the reverse of the process spelled out in the more common usages as above in categories I, II, III, etc.

XVI: “The halakhah accords with strict view or the lenient view” makes reference to external principles for determining the halakhah or decision of law.

XVII: “The halakhah as a ruling of a disciple against the view of his master” is an unusual bit of data showing how on occasion the text preserves a decision that contravenes the traditional nature of the rabbinic process (esp. cat. I).

Conclusion: There is some scattered evidence in the early texts of the conceptualization of halakhah as a realm unto itself.

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After Rattling Rabbinic Sabres Y.U. Backs Down and Will Ordain Rabbinical Student Who Held Partnership Minyan Service

I am mentioned in the Forward article and I am glad this episode is winding down. Too much posturing and anonymity in this struggle.

A longer interview with me got pared down to two paragraphs:

Tzvee Zahavy, a former University of Minnesota professor who received ordination from Y.U. in 1973, also took issue with Penner’s letter. “There’s no asterisk on my semikha certificate saying, you have the authority, but you have to check with us first,” he said.

Zahavy was so taken aback by the letter that he sent an email to Penner, asking whether Y.U. would like to revoke his ordination, since he supports the rabbinical student who held a partnership minyan. Penner wrote back, saying, “No, I doubt that’s necessary.”

Is Bridgegate Jewish?

The Bridgegate Scandal has always been Jewish in some ways, e.g. David Wildstein, a principal player in the scandal, is a Jew from Livingston NJ.

But now, yes, Bridgegate is really Jewish, since a certain Rabbi Mendy Carlebach was mentioned as a potential target for retribution: "Rabbi Mendy Carlebach serves as Chaplain in the Port Authority Police of NY and NJ, in the South Brunswick Police Department and as the Jewish Chaplain in the Federal Bureau of Prisons at MCC in NYC, NY."

In this story, New York Daily News: Christie appointees questioned if they would be fired over Bridgegate, we learned:

The 20 pages of documents [just released] also included a bizarre exchange between Wildstein and fired Christie administration official Bridget Anne Kelly, who put the bridge closing in motion.

Wildstein, after texting her a photo of New Jersey Rabbi Mendy Carlebach with House Speaker John Boehner, declared the religious leader "has officially pissed me off."

"Clearly," replied Kelly. "We cannot cause traffic problems in front of his house, can we?"

Wildstein quickly responded: "Flights to Tel Aviv all mysteriously delayed."

Yeshiva University Dean of Rabbis Denies News Account & He Won't Take My Semicha Back

When I got my semicha (1973) I was proud that it said "Yoreh Yoreh Beissur Veheter" giving me my own franchise to issue religious decisions regarding what is forbidden and what is permitted in accord with the Torah, Talmud, commentaries, codes and responsa.

Now my school YU has been saying of late through its great gadol and potent posek that in some public policy matters involving our religion, local rabbis can't do that unless they adhere to the halakhah and the mesorah as defined in Washington Heights. Well "the" halakah does not exist and "the mesorah" is a vague account of the transmission of religious authority. My franchise was never conditioned on those settings.

I've been making religious decisions regarding what is forbidden and what is permitted for people in my community and family since 1973. But since the rabbi rules seemed to have changed, I made an offer to my school. It's brief and it's copied below, emails between me and Marc Penner.

Would you like me to mail my semicha back to you?

[Link to my post]

Tzvee Zahavy
RIETS 73

No, I doubt that's necessary. We do not take back semikha and are not about to start doing so.
In an attempt to protect the dignity and confidentiality of the student, the yeshiva has kept quiet about the issues in this case. The actions of the yeshiva were not, as you present them, a punitive measure relating to a minyan that he held in his home.

Kol tuv
Rabbi Marc Penner
646-660-5858
Sent from my iPad (please excuse any mistakes)

Thanks for your reply. I am surprised to hear [back] from you.

I do not write news or research stories. I only comment and offer opinion after others have already published materials. In this case I relied on the account by Gary [Rosenblatt] in the Jewish Week and on the TJC story as I cited. You may want to straighten Gary out - on or off the record.

And no. I don't buy it. If you wanted to protect the dignity of the student you would not have written him that letter. I have no way of knowing what you are punishing a student for doing - but that letter was not the way to issue a reprimand. I'd hurry and retract it all if I were you [by saying e.g.,] "Yeshiva does not demand loyalty oaths or fealty statements from their students. It is unfortunate that I was misinterpreted."

Good luck.
Tzvee

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Yeshiva University RIETS Threatens to Withhold Ordination of Wayward Rabbinical Student

The Jewish Week weakly exposed some elements of a story of rabbinic school intrigue ("‘Your Semicha Or Your Wife’YU withholding ordination from rabbinic student who participated in ‘partnership minyan.’"). It wasn't an illuminating account.

The Jewish Channel followed up with texts and data relating to the murky matter.

What wayward behavior does a rabbinical student have to perform to trigger threats against him by his school that they will not grant him rabbinic ordination?

Perhaps, if he is caught eating a bacon cheeseburger on Yom Kippur, that will lead to his loss of ordination. But that is not the case here.

Perhaps if he is caught committing adultery with his menstruating mother-in-law, that would be the trigger of his demise from the rabbinical ranks. But that surely is not the case here.

What egregious act did the student commit to merit the threat of his nuclear annihilation from the clergy ranks even before his career was launched?

He prayed with women.

Apparently this young man helped his wife attend a partnership minyan. So Yeshiva's dean of rabbis told him to sign a loyalty oath or forget about receiving his blessings. He must forswear such rebellious activities.

They sent him a very problematic letter, reproduced at TJC. I'm pretty sure that the letter is grounds for a major lawsuit. Its vague stipulations make little sense to me. But it's clear, if you are going to require a fealty oath to halakhic authority, as YU has defined it this week ("One of the central principles of RlETS is a fealty to halakhah and the halakhíc process"), as a condition for ordination, then surely you must do so at the beginning of the first enrollment of the student, not at the end of his five years of studies. Wow, if word gets out that that's what they do over there, nobody will gamble in that casino.

You cannot change the rules of the rabbi game in the metaphoric bottom of the ninth with two outs, the fourth quarter with 10 seconds left on the clock.

Astonishingly you have to step back and take a deep breath and think for a minute. Just think. Nothing terrible will occur if the Orthodox allow their women to be called to the Torah or count for a minyan. It would be a great thing. This latest situation is just one more catastrophic error by YU.

But most remarkable in the letter from the dean is that it's clear that Yeshiva University is no longer a place where the pure values of Torah and Talmud dominate. Those words are not mentioned by the dean. Rather it is where the rigorous adherence to things called halakhah and mesorah rule the roost, to the exclusion of  our cherished Torah and Talmud. How utterly bizarre.

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Rav Aharon Lichtenstein, the Quintessential Scribe, has been awarded the Israel Prize 2014

My chaver Billy Altshul informed me that our rebbe Rav Aharon Lichtenstein has been awarded the Israel Prize 2014 in Jewish religious literature.

He was one of the finest teachers that I studied with in college - a genius as an educator and a sincere and compassionate human being. He is the person that I chose to personify the quintessential scribe personality of prayer in my book "God's Favorite Prayers (p. 71 ff)."

The Scribe’s Prayers

Shema

— n

1. the central statement of Jewish belief, the sentence “Hear, O Israel: the Lord is your God; the Lord is One” (Deuteronomy 6:4)

2. the section of the liturgy consisting of this and related biblical passages, Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:13-21 and Numbers 15:37-41, recited in the morning and evening prayers and on retiring at night

[Hebrew, literally: hear]

—Collins English Dictionary, 2009

I

I had the privilege of studying in Rav Aharon Lichtenstein’s Talmud shiur (class) for two years, 1966-1968. Each December, he invited us talmidim (disciples) to his house for latkes (potato pancakes) on Hanukkah. There, in his apartment, we sat with his little kids and his wife Tovah, daughter of Rav Joseph B. Soloveitchik. The latkes were good and the Lichtensteins appeared to be a regular family. For some reason, that surprised me.

Once, during the years that I was in his shiur, while I was out with some of the guys playing basketball on the courts between the Yeshiva College dorms, Rav Aharon, a lanky, thin and tall man, came walking by. One of us had the chutzpah to ask him to join the ball game. He said okay and he played aggressively—and just like a regular guy. For some reason, that blew my mind.

And, one year, in our student play, the Yeshiva College Purim shpiel, a satiric revue for the holiday, I played the role of Rav Aharon. In my performance, I hemmed and hawed and exaggerated my rebbe’s mannerisms much more than I should have. And there in the audience sat my rebbe, laughing heartily along with us. For some reason, that really blew my mind.

Is the Film "The Endless Summer" Jewish?

My favorite movie is Bruce Brown's, The Endless Summer. No, it wasn't Jewish at all that is, until I made it into a metaphor for my quest for perfect Jewish spirituality and the inspiration for my book cover (see below). I haven't found any other Jewish connections to the film or the poster.

Vanity Fair has a story about the famous iconic Endless Summer movie poster. "One Summer, Forever: The Endless Summer poster is 50 years old, and it hasn't aged a minute. Kitchen-table project turned pop-culture phenomenon, the Day-Glo movie promo created by John Van Hamersveld for his friend Bruce Brown’s 1964 documentary is still selling the dream—on T-shirts, TV shows, beer bottles, and dorm walls. Lili Anolik looks back at the moment an iconic image was born, the social upheaval it presaged, and the surfer-dude-slash-designer whose life it changed."

In 1966 I saw a film that documented two boys seeking simple perfection in a quasi-mystical sport. IMDB sums up, "Brown follows two young surfers around the world in search of the perfect wave, and ends up finding quite a few in addition to some colorful local characters."

The film spoke to me, as it did to many others of a more idealistic age. The essence of surfing of course is the wave. And the lover of surfing no doubt wants to embark on the quest for the best wave. To experience the performance of the essence is to find the perfect wave.

Brown's two surfer dudes found one in South Africa, see the video clip below.

Haaretz: Why so Few Streets Named for Women In Tel Aviv?

One of my favorite books about Israel is "Street People" by Helga Dudman. "This is an informative and amusing guide-book recalling the "biographies" of many Israeli streets, the stories of the famous men and women for whom they were named. Pedestrians (and drivers) can travel along Ibn Gabirol, Nordau, Ahad Ha'Am, George Eliot, Lilienblum--and know who they were and what they did!"

Haaretz now reports that, "Of 2,439 streets in Tel Aviv, only 62 - a paltry 2.5 percent - are named for women." And we cannot blame this on Orthodox rabbis. Tel Aviv is a predominantly secular city. I was taught that Zionism was a basically egalitarian movement. It seems that is not reflected in street naming.

Can Israeli women break the glass ceiling - on street signs?
By Ilan Lior

The briefest of strolls through Tel Aviv will reveal one very long road indeed: the path to gender equality in street names.

Although women constitute half the population, their names are almost entirely absent from street signs. Of 2,439 streets in Tel Aviv, only 62 — a paltry 2.5 percent — are named for women.

The number dwindles even further when you realize that in six cases, the streets bear the names of women mentioned together with their husbands.

Is Orthodox Judaism at War with its own Women?

Is Orthodox Judaism at war with its own women? Yes, to some degree, it always is, by its essential definition.

I originally wrote an essay in 1987 to analyze and characterize some of the darker clouds that I started to see on the horizon within Orthodox Judaism's belligerent attitudes.

I posted the essay with revisions that I made in 1994, taking account of Rabbi Hershel Schachter's responsum regarding women's prayer groups.

I have not seen much improvement over the years. In the essay, I didn't consider the political violence committed by Yigal Amir and Baruch Goldstein in my assessment and I don't plan to revise this piece to accomodate that.

However, I taught a course in the Fall 2005 called, "War and Peace in Judaism, Christianity and Islam" where I put this Orthodox dynamic into a larger perspective of global religious aggression and violence.

In retrospect I regret that I used the uncommon term "apocalyptic" to describe certain patterns of warlike behavior and attitudes. That makes the major points a little less accessible to the general reader. Be that as it may, here is the opening of the essay:

Fundamentalist spokesmen in Orthodox Judaism of late have grown more vocal and militant. Recent protests, proclamations, and actions of Orthodox Jews have not just risen in intensity. Rather a substantive transformation has overtaken a segment of the Jewish community. It does not suffice to categorize Orthodox groups as "reversionary" "ultra" or "right-wing". We must explain what generative conception distinguishes one group claiming to be Orthodox observers of Torah and mitzvos (commandments), true to the ideals of halakhah (Jewish law), and loyal to their rabbinic figures of authority, from another group claiming the same traits, but appearing to form its social life and defend its ultimate goals in recognizably different manners. Some forms of fundamentalist Orthodoxy have become apocalyptic styles of Judaism. This form of Judaism has coherent world views and particular ways of life that thrive on conflict, that live on the margins of society and that employ predictable modes of discourse.

And here is more of this article...

other articles, reviews, independent study courses and more... 

[An earlier version of this post appeared here 10/28/10]. 

What Rav Joseph Soloveitchik Said to Me about Women, the Torah, the Synagogues and Checks

I believe that it is essential for Orthodox Judaism to change and to provide women with full equality -- to count them for a minyan, to call them to the Torah, and after proper training, to ordain them as rabbis.

When Women Write the Checks
(I originally blogged this here in March, 2005)
 

In 1973, after I completed my Semicha studies with Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik at Yeshiva University, I attended his summer shiurim (Talmud classes) in Boston and then started as a PhD graduate student at Brown University.

Brown was known as a progressive community in an era of ferment. Some of us Orthodox graduate students gathered at the Hillel to engage in a traditional Minyan. Not surprisingly some of the women students there wanted to know how far we could push the envelope. Could we conduct an Orthodox service and give women aliyot to the Torah?

I knew these were all sincere and properly motivated students, seeking greater fulfillment in their practice of Judaism. So when they asked me to drive up to Boston and to discuss this issue with the Rav, Rabbi Soloveitchik, I readily accepted the challenge.

What is Mindfulness?

A great summary by Daniel Goleman: What Mindfulness Is — And Isn't --

Now that meditation has hit the cover of TIME, the Wisdom 2.0 conference has brought meditating executives to the headlines, and figures from Arianna Huffington to 50 Cent do the practice, a bit of backlash was inevitable.

But I was surprised to see my friend Tony Schwartz dissenting (at least a bit) in a New York Times blog “More Mindfulness, Less Meditation.” Tony’s sense of the working world ranks first class, but this time I think he got the facts wrong, in two ways.

Yeshiva University Orthodox Rabbis Began Their Crusade Against Jewish Women's Rights and Roles in 1985

LONG ISLAND JEWISH WORLD
MARCH 8-14, 1985

An Open Letter

Dear Rabbis Parness, Bronspiegel, Alpert, Willig and Schachter:

I have just read (Jewish World, Feb. 15-21, 1985) of your intention to issue a responsum forbidding women from gathering together for prayer and Torah reading. I know how urgent many people think it is at this time to react to recent trends within the Torah observant community. But I believe it is wrong to issue a formal responsum at this time and wish to explain why.

Rav Hershel Schachter's Valentine to Jewish Women

Taking a page from the questions I ask on my blog, Haaretz via the Forward asks, "Is Valentine's Day Kosher?" The answer? Surprise, "Since Valentine’s Day is even less of a religious holiday than these holidays (New Year's and Thanksgiving), it seems to this writer that Jews should be permitted to celebrate..."

That said, how does the venerable Rav Hershel Schachter of Yeshiva University celebrate the festival? He does so by publishing a love letter to Jewish women. He waxes poetic about how special they are to him. It's so touching it brought tears to my eyes to read how much the rabbi respects Jewish women.

Here is his romantic letter in its entirety (translated by Rabbi Yair Hoffman).

“The Entire Congregation is Holy..”

CAUSING THE KOHAIN TO BECOME IMPURE

A Mishna is cited in the beginning of tractate Yuma (2a) that the sages would purposefully cause the Kohain preparing the Parah Adumah to become impure, and then immerse him. They did this in order to entirely negate the view of the Sadducees [that the kohain performing the service must be completely pure – not just partially pure].

So that onlookers would now not denigrate the process of Para Aduma – the sages further ordained that all the actions involving the Parah Adumah be performed in vessels of dung, stone, and earthenware – vessels that are not susceptible to impurity.