Sex rabbi Shmuley Boteach to Britney Spears in 2007: this racy photo will scar your children

On the eve of Yom Kippur it is inspiring to see how a Hasidic Lubavitch celebrity kosher sex rabbi recently encouraged another celebrity (not Jewish) to repent of her sins.

According to the rabbi, this racy picture of Britney Spears getting out of a car (right) will scar her children for life. He wrote her an open letter to tell her so.

Is there a book in the works on how Shmuley saved Britney?

Note the inspired way that the Sage of Englewood quoted in 2007 from the well known rabbinic Tractate "Life Gets Serious":

Rabbi asks Britney Spears to cover up and spend more time with her boys

American radio TV host Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has sent a letter to pop singer Britney Spears calling her a ‘bad mother’.

Washington, Feb 13: American radio TV host Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has sent a letter to pop singer Britney Spears calling her a ‘bad mother’.

The 40-year-old has imparted some rabbinic lessons to the ‘Toxic’ singer and said that according to rabbis once a person becomes a parent, life gets very serious.

“Allow me to share with you a teaching of the ancient Rabbis. Once you become a parent, Britney, life gets really serious,” Page Six quoted him, as writing to Spears.

Rabbi said that her kids are watching her in a degraded state- drunk and hardly spending time with them, which will permanently scar them.

"We can all pretend that life is one big party devoid of responsibility. And rarely being home, or coming home drunk, or letting your kids see you in a degraded state, will permanently scar your kids,” he said.

The author of the famous ‘Kosher Sex’ added that her two sons will soon start surfing the net and might come across the scandalous photos of their mother.

"Soon your boys will be surfing the internet. They'll see a lot of photos of you in poses that no son should ever see their own mother,” he added.

Rabbi suggested that she ought to spend the maximum time with her little ones and abandon her feral lifestyle.

“Try and be home with your kids. Cover up. Limit the visits to the nightclubs,” he said. (ANI)

[repost from 2007]

Is Britney Spears Jewish Yet?

As Andy Borowitz wrote in one of the funniest essays ever to appear in the New Yorker, Britney Spears may be a Jew soon.

Or then again, maybe not.

Borowitz reveals the entries from Britney’s Conversion Diary.

Under the sway of Jason Trawick and Madonna and with the help of the legendary Rabbi Pearlstein, Britney valiantly describes her struggles with her conversion to Judaism.

All we can say is LMJAO.

[hat tip to mimi]

Surprise! Rabbi Shmuley Fails to Save Britney

Last week Rabbi Shmuley stuck his two cents in to criticize Britney's parenting. Apparently his advice-at-a-distance approach did not take into account the seriousness of her condition.

Perhaps next time the good Rabbi will exercise more discretion before going public with his "advice" (i.e. his transparent and insensitive grab for PR attention by criticizing a troubled celebrity).

Britney ‘on the edge of a nervous breakdown’
Patrick Foster

Fans and friends of Britney Spears rallied round the pop star last night as fears grew for her mental health.

The 25-year-old’s behaviour has become increasingly erratic, including reports that she had checked into a rehabilitation clinic but left after only 24 hours. In a bizarre sequence of events, Spears was filmed shaving her head in a Los Angeles hair salon on Friday evening before going to a tattoo parlour, where she reportedly had a tattoo of a pair of lips put on to her wrist.

Psychologists said yesterday that the behaviour was worryingly erratic and required attention, while fans of the pop star took to the internet to express their support for her.

Video footage from a Los Angeles television station showed Spears taking the clippers to her hair in full view of the paparazzi gathered outside.

Esther Tognozzi, the salon’s co-owner, told US Weekly that after Spears had cut off her brunette hair extensions she “just looked in the mirror and said with tears in her eyes, ‘Oh, my God, I shaved it all off. My mom is going to be so upset with me’.” JT Tognozzi, her husband and salon co-owner, said: “[Spears] didn’t want her hair. We have it here at the salon and we will probably auction it off for charity.”

Shmuley to Britney: Life's a Joke before you have kids

Going back to yesterday's to do over pink panty pictures - they will scar you for life if you look at them - here is what the Englewooder Rebbe wrote according to page six:

“Allow me to share with you a teaching of the ancient Rabbis. Once you become a parent, Britney, life gets really serious.”

So kids, have your fun now. But later on when you are parents - settle down. Or else you will scar your offspring for life. Ancient Rabbis said so.