Conan O'Brien's Torah Joke

"The first Muslim member of Congress is planning to be sworn in on a copy of the Koran that was once owned by Thomas Jefferson. The congressman says he found Thomas Jefferson's Koran on the shelf next to George Washington's Torah." --Conan O'Brien

2006: The Standard Reviews Jersey Jews News

In a wide ranging story, the staff of the Jewish Standard recaps the newsmakers of the past year.

Teaneck's Shomer Shabbos Blues Band

The Bergen Record writes really nice things about the Katzes in today's edition.

Blues brothers...and one Dad
By MIKE KERWICK
STAFF WRITER

Jeremy Katz angled his way into the walk-in closet, brushed his dad's clothes out of the way with a sweep of his arm and gestured to the left-hand wall.

"It was right here," he said.

He pointed to the spot where an acoustic guitar once hid behind his dad's shirts and his mom's dresses. Jeremy wandered into the closet one afternoon after school, looking for some soft drinks his dad kept tucked away in a small refrigerator. Instead, he found a Yamaha FG-180.

"I would always look at it," Jeremy said, "and then eventually I asked [my dad] if I could see his guitar."

You could pencil that moment in as the tipping point, the catalyst that ignited an untapped pile of tinder that had been begging for a spark. If Jeremy doesn't stumble upon that guitar case, maybe Avi Katz never scrapes the cobwebs off a second long-forgotten guitar to jam with his son.

If Jeremy doesn't pick up the guitar, maybe his little brother Jonathan doesn't ask to play drums.

If Jonathan doesn't ask to play the drums, maybe the eldest son, Jordan, never starts messing around with a set of drumsticks.

If Jordan never touches those drumsticks, maybe Jonathan doesn't decide to switch to bass.

If, if, if ...

Instead, one event bled into another. Soon, Avi Katz glanced around his supper table and realized he had inadvertently turned his family into a four-piece blues band.

The 13-year-old plays bass. The 14-year-old handles lead guitar. The 20-year-old plays drums.

And the 50-year-old estate planner – yes, the 50-year-old estate planner – is the one belting lyrics into a microphone.

"Now that I've created this monster," Avi Katz said, "I can't bow out and watch it fall until someone's ready to do the singing."

They call themselves III Blue J's – a play on the names of all three blues-fascinated sons beginning with the letter J. The group released "Rock Your Blues Away," a collection of blues covers, late last year and watched it briefly become one of the top sellers on the CD Baby Web site.

Their first jam session took place in a tiny upstairs room in the family's Teaneck home, before they moved everything down to the dining room. Would your mom and dad let you drum next to their fine china?

"[Jordan] drops his stick sometimes when we're practicing," Jeremy said. "He never hit anything, though."

Now they have a studio set up in the basement, stacks of black, tan and brown equipment cases piled high next to a treadmill. It didn't take long before the novice musicians were catching up to their father.

"In three months," Avi said, "we were performing on stage at Mexicali Blues [a Teaneck nightspot]."

They played their first gig at the Cupping Room Cafe in Manhattan, a spot that invites patrons in for jazz music and no cover charge on Friday nights. It took weeks to get the material down cold.

"We all knew it pretty well," said Jordan, 20, the drummer. "But the first time playing in front of an audience, it wasn't nerve-racking. It was just more of a new experience. ... It's cool because it's instant feedback from the people."

Audiences began taking an interest in the family that played better than anyone could have expected.

"I was just blown away," said Rafe Gomez, a New Jersey-based DJ who hosts the nationally syndicated radio program "The Groove Boutique." "I liked it because it wasn't trying to be kids' music. They were trying to be as legitimate and powerful as possible, and they were trying to emulate their heroes."

Gomez, whose show airs Saturday nights on WQCD-FM, discovered the band when his wife brought the group's four-track sampler CD back to the house. She is a personal trainer who happened to be working with Avi's wife, Nadine. One listen and Gomez knew III Blue J's was something more than a novelty act.

He suspects something similar happened at Mexicali Blues, a place he calls "the serious outpost for blues in New York and New Jersey."

"I've been there," Gomez said. "I've seen their hard-core blues and rock acts waiting for their turn to get on, and I see their eyebrows raised. They're impressed."

Avi Katz tries to limit how many gigs the band plays each month, a show of respect for his kids' studies. They never play Friday nights or Saturdays until after sundown, a show of respect for the Sabbath.

And music never comes before homework.

No, they're not angels. Asked if he fights with his brothers, bass player Jonathan replied, "What brothers don't?"

Equipment gets thrown. Heated words are exchanged.

"The next practice you're like, 'Why am I down here? I shouldn't be here. Someone threw something at me,' " Jonathan said. Still, "you know that you should do the right thing, and you should practice."

They are still just kids – kids playing the blues, but certainly not singing them.

Caroline Glick, the Queen of Catastrophic Raving Lunatic Zionism

There are real people and there are raving lunatics. Real people work to bring new value into the world. Raving lunatics merely froth at the mouth and run around in circles.

Every article that I have read by a Ms. Caroline Glick has convinced me that she stands alone as the Queen of Catastrophic Raving Lunatic Zionism.

In her latest screed, "The bitter fruits of corruption," published by JWR and other wingnut outlets, she just raves on and on and on about the catastrophic state of affairs in Israel. In her lunatic world, everyone is corrupt, everyone is inept and Israel is headed for hell in a hand basket.

This is not your typical run-of-the-mill catastrophic Zionist blather. Glick opines ravingly, "And so to extricate itself from the morass of ineptitude and criminality that has become its public sector, Israel must find the way to rid ourselves of the current political and military leadership that embody both."

You see, the ante has been raised. The entire government of Israel - in Glick's never humble opinion - is evil and corrupt and the nation is careening towards oblivion.

You may ask, what are Ms. Glick's expert credentials for her role as arbiter and predictor of destruction and despair? As far as I can tell, they are simply put nil, null and void. This woman knows how to write English sentences. Other than that, she has absolutely no claim to any authority, insight or expertise regarding the state of affairs in the Middle East or anywhere else.

We thank Binyamin L. Jolkovsky, Editor-in-Chief and Publisher of JWR, for his untiring cutting and pasting of articles which promote the catastrophic raving lunatic fringe of Zionist and Judaic thought.

And we caution all our friends who credulously read the republished nonsense that he promotes to repent, relent and come to your senses.

Seven million strong, Israel is a great nation. It is not hovering on the brink of destruction.

Caroline and Binyamin, why in the name of all that sane do you want to promote the idea that it is?

O yes. Forgive me. I forgot. To make a coupala dollars.

Bar Ilan Responsa Library Comes Online

The Bar Ilan Responsa data base is now online at
http://www.responsa.co.il/.

Globes reports:

The Bar Ilan University Responsa Project is now available online.

The Responsa Project is the world's largest electronic collection of Torah literature. Like its CD version, launched in 1991, the Online Responsa encompasses Jewish sources representing over three thousand years of Jewish literary heritage. It includes the Bible and its principal commentaries, the Babylonian Talmud and the Jerusalem Talmud with commentaries, Midrashim, Zohar, Rambam, Shulchan Aruch with commentaries, and the collection of Responsa questions and answers on matters of Jewish law.

... The Responsa texts in this online database include over 80,000 legal decisions, representing over a thousand years of development of Jewish law, and capturing the historical, social, and economic milieu of Jewish communities all over the world.

... Bar-Ilan University can now allow all Internet users full access to its Jewish cultural treasures, thanks to C.D.I.'s NetIS technology, which identifies users and protects the data from being abused. The multi-lingual interface (Hebrew, English, and French) enables users to swiftly browse and study the contents of several sources simultaneously.

Subscribers can choose between various options, such as subscriptions to specific parts of the database, annual or monthly subscriptions, or cumulative time viewing rights.

The results of a search come up quickly. A search for "Tzvee" produced 4907 hits, showing two lines of the reference. Further access to the texts is restricted by login.

Login is not necessary in order to view a result list.
If you wish to view content, you will have to login as a subscriber or register as a guest.

After login, the content will be displayed according to your access rights.
Login is also required for browsing the online store and viewing your personal account.

More to follow after a thorough review.

Reb Yudel slams Reb Rosenblatt

Our colleague (Larry Yudelson) takes to task our esteemed colleague (Gary Rosenblatt) to wit.

Gary Rosenblatt et al peddle Republican Party talking points again

and do you know what? Larry is right. Gary is way off base.

Keep 'em honest mar Yudelson.

Harris Invention Award Winner: USBCELL

What a great idea. Here is a rechargeable AA battery that can be plugged into your USB port to recharge.

Harris Epstein, my great grandfather the inventor, would have been proud of this invention because it is clever, thrifty and ecologically sound.

After careful deliberation we are awarding our first Harris Invention Award Winner to USBCELL.

The product description says, "The USBCELL has been designed for real-world ease of use. By opening the cap and plugging into any powered USB port, you can recharge pretty much anywhere there's a USB socket. By making it easier to recharge batteries we can help the environment: easier recharging means more frequent use, which means fewer disposable batteries get made and thrown away."

After reading the reviews at Amazon we recommend that you purchase this winning invention.

TC Airport: Muslim Taxis Must Take Booze and Dogs

We've been following this story because it's got all the elements of high religious drama. Airports, alcohol, dog saliva, fatwas, Somalis, demands for a prayer room - watch for this on the new Law and Order: G.O.D.

Tighter airport cab rules proposed: Officials want tougher penalties for refusal to transport passengers carrying alcohol.

By John Reinan, Star Tribune

Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport officials want to crack down on Muslim taxi drivers who refuse to carry alcohol or service dogs in their cabs.

At a meeting Wednesday of the Metropolitan Airports Commission (MAC), airport staff members asked the commission to give the go-ahead for public hearings on a tougher policy that would suspend the licenses of drivers who refuse service for any reason other than safety concerns.

Drivers who refuse to accept passengers transporting alcohol or service dogs would have their airport licenses suspended 30 days for the first offense and revoked two years for the second offense, according to a proposed taxi ordinance revision.

"Our expectation is that if you're going to be driving a taxi at the airport, you need to provide service to anybody who wants it," commission spokesman Patrick Hogan said.

The penalties would also apply to drivers who refuse a fare because it is too short a trip.

The full commission is expected to vote on the proposal for public hearings at its next meeting, scheduled for Jan. 16.

Airports Commissioner Bert McKasy called the dispute -- in which some drivers complained that carrying alcohol or dogs violated religious precepts -- "unfortunate," but said that serving the public has to be the primary goal.

"I think it's pretty much the consensus of the commissioners and the staff that we have to provide good service to the public, and that's pretty much the bottom line," McKasy said.

About 100 people are refused cab service each month at the airport. Roughly three-quarters of the 900 taxi drivers at the airport are Somali, many of them Muslim. In recent months, the problem of service refusals for religious reasons has grown, airport officials have said, calling it "a significant customer-service issue."

Last year, the airport proposed a system of color-coded lights on taxis, indicating which drivers would accept passengers carrying alcohol. That proposal was dropped.

Hogan said the goal is to have a new policy in place by May 11, when all airport taxi licenses come up for annual renewal.

"We want the drivers to know about the policy in advance, so that if they don't think they can work under these conditions, they have the option of not renewing their license," Hogan said.

Last year, the airports commission received a fatwa, or religious edict, from the Minnesota chapter of the Muslim American Society. The fatwa said that "Islamic jurisprudence" prohibits taxi drivers from carrying passengers with alcohol, "because it involves cooperating in sin according to Islam."

Eva Buzek, a flight attendant and Minneapolis resident, called the new proposal "great news." Buzek recently was refused service by five taxi drivers when she returned from a trip to France carrying wine.

"In my book, when you choose to come to a different country, you make some choices," said Buzek, a native of Poland. "I never expected everything to be the same way as in my homeland, and I adjusted. I never dreamed of imposing my beliefs on somebody else."

'A violation of faith'

But Hassan Mohamud, imam at Al-Taqwa Mosque of St. Paul, and director of the Islamic Law Institute at the Muslim American Society of Minnesota, one of the largest Islamic organizations in the state, said that asking Muslims to transport alcohol "is a violation of their faith" as well as of the spirit of the First Amendment.

Mohamud, an attorney who teaches Islamic law at William Mitchell Law School in St. Paul, said, "Muslims do not consume, carry, sell or buy alcohol." Islam also considers the saliva of dogs to be unclean, he said.

Mohamud said he would ask airport officials to reconsider, adding that he hoped that a compromise could be worked out that would serve as a bridge between the American legal system and the cultural and religious values of the immigrants.

Currently, he said, more than half of the state's taxi drivers are Muslim and about 150,000 people follow Islam in Minnesota, most of them in the metro area.

"So the commission should respect the will of the majority of the taxi drivers, with complete accommodation to the consumers," Mohamud said.

Many Somali taxi drivers don't have any problem transporting passengers with alcohol and are worried about a backlash, countered Omar Jamal, executive director of the Somali Justice Advocacy Center. Jamal said he supports the tougher penalties.

"We tell the taxi drivers, if you don't want to do this, change your job," he said. "You are living in a country where alcohol is not viewed the way it is in your country."

But Jamal and Mahmoud both disagreed with the airports commission on another issue of religion and airport operation. Jamal said his group will continue to push for a separate prayer room at the airport reserved solely for Muslims.

That won't happen, according to Hogan.

"Our position is that there will be no room for one faith," he said. "We have a quiet seating area that can be used by anybody for quiet contemplation or prayer. If that is inadequate, we could possibly look at finding a larger space.

"In no case would we be looking at [exclusive] space for one faith or another."

Staff writer Joy Powell contributed to this report. •

The greatest bowl game ever!

Who would have ever imagined that the Boise State Broncos (in orange and Oklahoma in red) would win the greatest bowl game of all time!



If you did not stay up to one AM to see the game live, you gotta watch this.

We have converted!

We've converted to the new blogger. (And what did you think?)

It's a no brainer. Automated labels and layouts. Sure to be more goodies.

You may notice a few changes in design but we've tried to keep it familiar.

Go Google! We luv ya!